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This thread discusses the Content article: He's So Good, It's Two For One!

i for one would just like to forgo the usual congratulatory banter and nip this situation in the bud as soon as possible. Now I know that Brandon is a fun person to hang around with, but something about this whole situation is deeply troubling. He now has three boys.......THREE!!!! I for one am quite concerned he is building an army. I'm fairly certain he underwent gene therapy to completely remove the ability to have a female child. If on the off chance that he was to have a female, it would be the most manly woman in the world (yes this is in stark contrast to Brandon).

Anyone who had the pleasure of living in the same house as Brandon can remember his ingenuity. He made a fairly solid helmet out of nothing but empty cans of Keystone Light. He built a sturdy set of lofts in room 10 that are still in place today and show no signs of going anywhere.

Every summer he holds The Back Yard Olympics which has games ranging from Bocce Ball, Horse Shoes, Lawn Darts, and Home Run Derby. Last year he instituted an obstacle course that ranged from daunting for the drunks to benign for the sober ones.

He is shaping young minds and a wrestling coach. Having been a reasonably accomplished wrestler in high school and going to ONU on money garnered from said career he does in fact have some knowledge of the sport.

He knows how to get what he wants. Anyone who was around at the time or thereafter remembers the incident with Dustin Payne. For those of you unaware let me explain. He made up a person and got him a bid to Delta Sigma Phi. Okay, so Dave, Pat, and I helped (with the unwitting support of one Kevin Kolks who said "Yeah I drank with Dustin, he was a cool guy&quot.

So what we have here is an individual who is already skilled at training people in both the ways of classical knowledge and hand to hand combat. Has ingenuity is obvious in his creations, we can only assume this skill will pass on to his children. He annually trains himself at throwing objects comparable in size and weight to incendiary devices with extreme accuracy, and given the opportunity he knows how to work a crowd to get what he wants. Now he is raising an army of genetic duplicates who will maintain loyalty to him no matter the circumstances. Gentlemen, what we have here is a formidable foe the likes of which humanity has never seen before. The only logical thing we can do is move on this immediately.

There are two courses of action we can take. We need to pool our money together and invest in something Cupp and I have been working on. A Giant Robot Walking Spider of Death (GRWSOD). With this we can park it outside of his home to make sure his rise to power is foiled quickly. We will need to outfit it with powerful weapons and a fairly substantial sounds system for both physical and psychological warfare.

The second option (and less fun) is to take his children. Without his "Genetic Generals" he will be unable to adequately command his forces leaving him listless and without power. What to do with them remains to be determined. I suggest we give them to the house. They can be responsible for day to day maintenance and lawn care. They can perform tasks that others generally would not want to do, therefore making us the only house on campus with servants. A good rush tool. Upon their eighteenth birthday they will not be set free, however they will be given bids to pledge. Since that house will be all they have ever known they will be too afraid of the real world and its corruption (as told to them through stories from brothers and alumni) that in order to be "safe" they will accept and become a valuable asset to the house.

Gentlemen, whatever course of action we decide, one thing is clear; we must stop brandon before he creates again.